Five Coping Strategies for Divorce Stress
Meet Kristina Murr
Overwhelmed by the emotional turmoil of divorce? Rhodes Law’s trusted counselor Kristina Murr, MS, LPC, CPCS can help! Kristina is a licensed professional counselor and the owner of Awaken Counseling. Below she shares five coping strategies for the stress of divorce.
The emotional toll and stress of divorce can be challenging, but you can cope. The experience of divorce may be very overwhelming and can even lead to post divorce anxiety and depression. If you find yourself struggling during a divorce or with life after divorce, here are some tips to help you navigate the turbulence of divorce-induced stress.
1. Stay Present in the Moment to Cope with Divorce Stress:
As a therapist, I often guide clients to stay mindful and fully present in the moment, a practice that becomes especially vital during a divorce. The emotional whirlwind may tempt you to dwell on the past or fret about an uncertain future. Experiment with being present for just one day, focusing on the now and letting go of thoughts about uncontrollable stressors. Be gentle with yourself if this proves challenging. If you notice your mind drifting away from the present moment and you begin to think or worry about other things, challenge yourself to bring your mind back to the present moment. This is a skill that will become easier over time.
Take a deep breath.
2. Schedule a Time to Worry About Your Divorce:
Divorce often brings a flood of worries and concerns. While it may sound strange, scheduling a time for worry can be extremely effective. Set aside 30 minutes each day to intentionally address your worries and brainstorm potential solutions. When concerns arise outside of this designated time, remind yourself that you have a specific period for such thoughts. This practice helps contain the worries and provides a scheduled time for you to process them.
3. Challenge and Reframe Your Divorce-Related Thoughts:
Our thoughts can play a significant role in shaping our feelings and reactions, and it is essential to recognize that you don’t have to buy into every thought that crosses your mind. Divorce often brings about negative thoughts that can contribute to heightened stress, feelings of sadness, or anxiety.
The next time you experience a sudden shift in mood or find yourself overwhelmed by stress, take a moment to identify the underlying thought. Ask yourself, “What was I just thinking?” Once you pinpoint the thought, challenge yourself to dispute the negativity surrounding it. For example, the thought “I will never get through all of this” could be reframed as “This is a very tough situation. I am going to take this day by day. I may not move through this as quickly as I would like, but I am making progress.” By challenging and reframing these thoughts, you empower yourself to develop a more positive and resilient mindset throughout the divorce process.
4. Focus on Yourself, Not Your Ex
During or after a divorce, a myriad of emotions may surface, including anxiety, sadness, fear and anger. If you find yourself struggling with anger, you may notice an increased preoccupation with your ex-partner and feelings of resentment. This could easily lead to problems if you begin to focus too much energy on your ex.
Instead, challenge yourself to redirect your energy inwards to focus on yourself. Consider your own personal goal and aspirations. Saving your energy and putting it towards making progress in your own life will likely serve you better than dwelling on anger and frustration with your ex-partner.
5. Prioritize Your Well-being with Self-Care:
Self-care is crucial when experiencing divorce-induced stress. Engage in activities that rejuvenate your mind, body, and spirit. Whether it’s exercise, yoga, gardening, or spending time with supportive friends, prioritize self-care to prevent burnout. Importantly, self-care extends beyond activities; setting boundaries, asserting yourself when necessary, ensuring sufficient sleep, or even taking a restorative nap are all forms of essential self-care.
If a divorce has left you feeling overwhelmed and unbalanced, consider integrating these coping strategies into your life. However, if you find that additional support is needed to explore more personalized ways to decrease stress, reaching out to a professional for counseling during or after a divorce can help. Seeking counseling from a licensed professional is a wonderful way to invest in yourself during a stressful time and ensure that you have the support and tools you need to cope.
Learn More About Kristina and her team at Awaken Counseling:
The Awaken Counseling team is dedicated to helping individuals manage stress and anxiety. Located in Georgia, Awaken Counseling primarily serves the metro Atlanta area. Awaken Counseling also specializes in women’s maternal health with expertise in supporting women who are trying to conceive, providing guidance during pregnancy, and offering assistance and support postpartum.