Divorce Court Tips: How to Lose in Court- Best Practices

Some people seem to just want to lose. Their lawyer will guide them through a list of divorce court tips for testifying and yet, they choose to ignore them. At Rhodes Law, we prefer winning in court to losing. But, if you are absolutely determined to set your case on fire and go down in flames, here is how to do it in four easy steps.

1. Talk too much.

“If you are explaining, you are losing.” If you want to lose, just keep talking. Go on and on explaining your life without directly answering any questions. Keep talking even when the judge interrupts you. Ignore your lawyer’s frantic throat-clearings. Refuse to keep your answers short and simple like you repeatedly practiced during your testimony prep.

2. Argue with pieces of paper.

Imagine that you are being cross-examined. When lawyer hands you a copy of an email in which you have written, “I hate you and wish you were dead.” you should absolutely and boldly explain that your words don’t mean what they say. Refuse to concede.

3. Exaggerate the facts.

(Also called lying.) Definitely exaggerate during your testimony in divorce court. If you know your sister wrote herself a single check from Mother’s estate for $493.23 for supplies from Home Depot, then you should definitely insist that she has stolen thousands and thousands of dollars from the estate account. This makes the judge and jury dislike you and distrust you.

4. Act out when it’s not your turn.

People are watching you in court, even when you’re not testifying. Make sure to draw negative attention to yourself by whispering furiously (and loudly) to your lawyer, mutter under your breath (“LIAR!”), shake your head vigorously, and scribble largely and dramatically on your notepad.

That’s it. Four simple divorce court strategies, and you can absolutely guarantee that you will be a loser.

If you want guidance on what to do during your time testifying in divorce court, watch this and don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel.